More "Bacon Explosion" Types of Recipes

The "Bacon Explosion" is the recipe of the moment, and it's no wonder why. 2 pounds of bacon, weaved together to form a "mat," wrapped around 2 pounds of Italian sausage and grilled, creating a 5000-calorie, 500-grams-of-fat loaf of delicious meat. I haven't tried one yet but I'd like to. In the meantime, I've dreamed up a few other recipes that creatively use bacon to cram more fat into our diets...

BACON STRAW: STEP 1: Roll 1 strip of bacon length-wise, into a narrow tube. STEP 2: Cook until crisp, forming a “bacon straw.” STEP 3: Use bacon straw to drink 1 cup of melted butter. Yum! STEP 4: Eat straw.

JAMBACON: STEP 1: Grill 1 pound of bacon. STEP 2: Freeze bacon overnight. STEP 3: Put frozen bacon, 1/2 cup Crisco, and 1 banana* into blender. STEP 4: Enjoy your bacon smoothie. (*Banana is optional.)

PIG IN A BLANKET: STEP 1: Using “Bacon Explosion” technique, weave 40 pounds of bacon into 80-inch x 90-inch mat. STEP 2: Cook until crisp. STEP 3: Go to sleep, using your new bacon blanket to absorb fat directly through your skin. STEP 4: Wake up to find yourself being eaten alive by inventors of “Bacon Explosion.”

Blogcrastination Part 1: Mary's Birthday!

I have decided that I am a terrible blogger. So many things have happened recently and I haven't blogged about any of them! It's a good thing I don't have a twitter feed...no one would bother subscribing to it because I'd never have anything new to say.

So, in the interest of catching all 3 of my "followers" up on what's been going on recently, I've decided to update the blog with a bunch of new entries, all post-dated. In other words, these are all entries as I would've liked to have written them at the time they happened...except that they really didn't. So don't feel bad if you say to yourself, "I don't remember reading any of this crap!" Because you didn't.

Item #1 (moving backwards thru time): Mary's birthday was a couple of days ago. She's now 26! Yay! She made herself this gorgeous cake.


Did I mention how good she is with her hands? Apparently all of her med school profs say she should be a surgeon. Nevertheless, she's going into ER, which is (I'm told) a slightly better lifestyle. Plus if you're ever drunk and fall down, there's a pretty good chance you will see her in the hospital when you go to get your stitches.

Blocrastination Part 2: We went skiing

We went skiing with Mary's cousin Arthur and his g/f Melody. Big thanks to Cousin Steven for lending us his tricked-out Yukon to get us up there. Anyway, the drive up to Snow Summit is only supposed to take like 2.5 hours from LA, but it took us 5 hours to get there! Since the last time I drove up there with my friend Stacey, "driving a minivan full of kids up to Lake Arrowhead to pull over on the side of the road and play in the snow" has apparently become a big pasttime among Angelenos. Because once we actually got into Big Bear Lake, the traffic was fine!

Here's a pic of me and Mary taking a break. I'm having a beer, she's having a hot cocoa.


Now here's how it REALLY went down.

Brogcrastiination Part 3: Christmas

Hey! We just got back from San Diego, where my mom's side of the family went for our annual Christmas reunion. The highlight of our trip: Going to the San Diego Zoo, which I've actually been to like 3 times in the past 3 years. That place is pretty awesome. They have lots of monkeys there. I really love looking at monkeys.... or technically "apes," if you really want to be nitpicky.



We also lucked-out and got to feed giraffes. Giraffes have surprisingly huge heads, which you can't really tell most of the time because their heads are way up high in the air, and everything looks tiny when it's 20 feet above you.

Happy Belated Halloween!

This news is way overdue. I have no excuses, except that it's been a busy past 10 days. There was a presidential election to keep track of, notes to address on my pilot, Halloween costumes to be made...Oh, and speaking of Halloween, here's what Mary and I did:

Mary and I both love Halloween. So we made Nintendo Wii controller costumes. It's actually an idea I came up with for LAST Halloween, but I was in China so I kinda missed it. Anyway, we both like dressing up and playing video games, so this was a pretty good two-person costume. I was a Wii-mote and she was the Nunchuk.


We got together with some friends and walked up to Santa Monica Blvd, where the annual West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval/Parade was going on. This year, Halloween fell on a Friday, so it was even more crowded than usual. As expected, there were lots of people in awesome costumes everywhere, so we took photos with some of them.


Here's Bert & Ernie, this was probably Mary's favorite pair of folks this year. Two years ago she got almost as excited when she saw Colonel Sanders. The walk down Santa Monica was actually slow going because Mary and I got stopped for photos a bunch of times. Most people understood what we were, although some folks just stared at us for a long time and then asked, "What are you guys? Ipods?" (Not to stereotype, but those were mostly people who were pushing 40.)

Oh, and then on the way back I proposed to Mary.


She said yes! Look how happy and red-faced she is. She couldn't believe that I asked her to marry me while we were both wearing bulky pieces of cardboard and she had a frisbee on her head. But look how happy she is anyway!


Wow, I finally did it. Hard to believe, I know. Sorry it took so long for the news and pictures to be posted. It really was a busy week, and my parents were out of the country, so it took a little while to get the information out to family.

Yay!